Posts Tagged ‘Clown’

It’s bull

by Douglas J. Hagmann on Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

John Pistole, head of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), granted this writer an exclusive interview late yesterday to discuss the Obama clown mask incident at the Missouri State Fair that caused an uproar among the Progressive left. Speaking from his summer home in 1936 Germany, Pistole stated that the Obama clown mask incident serves as a perfect example that illustrates the need for TSA expansion to other venues beyond airports, and the reason the TSA specifically named rodeos as a venue of coverage in their recent announcement.

“Rodeos, they’re a breeding ground for domestic terrorists as defined by the DHS lexicon. The ‘land mines’ left by the unconditioned bovines are a clear and present danger to positive government sentiment,” said Pistole, who noted that some rodeo members compared the olfactory assault to Washington policies. “We can’t have that now, can we,” he asked rhetorically.

In this rare and unusually candid interview, Pistole told this author that “this incident would have never happened with TSA presence on site. As the American public knows, our only concern is their safety, and this clown was clearly a threat to fair-goers,” he stated. “Had the TSA been present, no Obama masks would have ever gotten through our security checkpoints. Our agents are highly trained to find latex and certain kinds of offensive plastic products, including any that might be secreted into private crevices to circumvent security. And because these items are able to conform to one’s body, they represent an even greater threat to the public,” said Pistole.  “This is the reason that the TSA screening procedure of the public must become even invasive and intrusive,” he emphasized. “It’s a matter of public safety.”

Asking what actions the TSA has taken in light of the bull at the fair, Pistole stated, “due to the outrage being exploited over this incident, I immediately ordered the TSA in Missouri to work with the FBI, CIA, FEMA, and PETA to place the clown, the announcer and even the bull in ‘Schutzhaft,’ err, I mean, protective custody. While in protective custody, the clown and fair announcer have been ordered to undergo reeducation training at the FEMA region III Reeducation Center for Crimes against the State.”

Almost as quickly as Pistole made that statement, he asked that it be removed from the record. In a moment of refreshing candor which has become a hallmark of this administration, Mr, Pistole confessed that he had just returned from Martha’s Vineyard, where he was copiously drinking VARBs, or the popular ‘power drink’ consisting of vodka and Red Bull, with ‘Barack, Valerie, and Janet.’ Chuckling, Pistole said, “hey, that’s ironic, isn’t it. I mean vodka and Red Bull, and we’re talking about…” his voice suddenly trailed off and was briefly silenced by the sound of ice cubes striking the bottom of an empty glass.

“The TSA needs to be proactive on this matter,” stated Pistole.  “I’ve also contacted Lois Lerner at home and instructed her to launch an aggressive and comprehensive tax audit of everyone involved in the fair, from the clown and the announcer to the bulls themselves.” When reminded that Ms.

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Nancy Pelosi: This 4th of July, Make Sure to Celebrate… Obamacare

by Doug Powers on Friday, June 28th, 2013

This is article 445 of 699 in the topic Healthcare

Nancy Pelosi is like a walking one-woman insane asylum that ran out of meds years ago:

“Next week, when we celebrate Independence Day we’ll also be observing health independence,” Pelosi told reporters today, explaining that “this week marks one year since the Supreme Court upheld the Affordable Care Act. It captures the spirit of our founders,” she added, citing the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence.”So, we’ve had Social Security, Medicare, and now health independence, so that’s something our members will take home to celebrate over this Independence Day.”

Three questions for Botoxi the Clown:

1) We have more liberty because of a massive government mandate?

2) Are you f*#king serious?

3) How do you avoid getting struck by lightning?

– See more at:

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Dead and circuses: Clown-in-chief Obama calls Benghazi talking points a “sideshow;” Flashback to Obama’s U.N. and Letterman sideshows

by Michelle Malkin on Monday, May 13th, 2013

This is article 850 of 1015 in the topic Obama


Oh, yes he just did. At a joint press conference with British PM David Cameron in Washington today, President Obama lied and evaded and obfuscated some more on his Benghazi crime and cover-up.

Obama called the swelling uproar over the Etch-a-Sketch YouTube video talking points shilled by U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and himself a “sideshow.”

Read all about it at Twitchy.

Re-watch the “sideshow” yourselves of Obama plying the YouTube falsehood two weeks after the attack. Flashback and cue the circus music:

And here is the Obama/Letterman sideshow 8 days after the attack:


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News flash: Al Gore still trying to get everybody to panic

by Doug Powers on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013

This is article 238 of 342 in the topic Global Warming

Part of what makes Gore’s rages against the machine such clown shows is that to establish any level of credibility Al must first get the audience to forget that he is the machine.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Al Gore, one of Hollywood’s favorite sons because of his commitment to the environment, rocked a large crowd in Beverly Hills on Tuesday with an impassioned plea to solve the “climate change crisis,” part of which is getting media right.

Gore lamented that a modern-day Thomas Paine would not be able to get his “Common Sense” message to the masses today because he couldn’t afford TV airtime, and he criticized the “rise of television at the expense of the printing press.”

But he was most animated, his voice pitching higher and lower and the volume steadily increasing, when he spoke of global warming.

“This is for real. It is not made up. The scientists are not in a conspiracy to lie to us,” Gore nearly shouted.

Gore then pledged to keep yelling until the temperature starts to go up again.

The Goracle also commented about former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor recently saying she regretted her decision on Bush v. Gore. What Gore wouldn’t say is that O’Connor’s “regret” wasn’t that she ruled against Gore’s appeal of the Florida Supreme Court’s decision, but that O’Connor now believes that in hindsight the U.S. Supreme Court should have refused to hear the appeal in the first place. Either way, Gore would still be on the outside looking in.

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Axelrod, Debbie Downer Join the ‘Pledge to Obama’ Creepy Clown Parade

by Doug Powers on Saturday, September 22nd, 2012

This is article 977 of 1298 in the topic 2012 Elections

Yesterday, Obama’s campaign manager Tweeted a restraining order-worthy picture of himself participating in the “Pledge to Obama” embarassment that many celebrity Obamabots have already participated in. That level of nutty blind devotion to The One makes Marshall Applewhite’s Heaven’s Gate cult look like a bunch of Shriners.

David Axelrod and Debbie Wasserman Schultz also got in on the act. I’d say you should have a shot of Jäger before looking at these to ease the pain, but it probably wouldn’t make much of a difference if you drank the whole bottle:

nullWould you buy a used car from these people?

DWS has a 100 percent rating from the NARAL abortion peddlers… you know, for “our kids.”

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Why did a half-white President pick a half-wit Vice President?

by Stephen Levine on Friday, August 17th, 2012

This is article 857 of 1298 in the topic 2012 Elections

With no disrespect to Bozo the Clown, one wonders how this “elitist” white guy from a state which prides itself in being the legal domicile of most of the nation’s largest corporations and credit card companies qualified to become the Vice President – and why, in spite of all of his stupid statements, he remains on the ticket? Some said it was because he knew how to do backroom deals, others said it was to lend foreign affairs experience to an inexperienced candidate. But after seeing how things have gone for the citizens of the United States, that couldn’t have been the case. Why this jerkoff over Hillary Clinton? Or even the man on the street? Wonder what Joe “Amtrak” Biden has to say about those taxpayer subsidies for Amtrak’s hamburgers which cost $16 to make and sells for $9.50?


Throw the clown out of the White House … and the other one two.

— steve

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Former President in Horn-Dog Heaven

by Doug Powers on Thursday, May 24th, 2012

Nothing like spending an evening hanging out with a couple of porn stars. Bubba hasn’t had this much fun since his limo broke down in front of Jumbo’s Clown Room:


Emphasis mine, for comedic effect:

Former President Bill Clinton apparently had stars in his eyes when he posed for a cozy photo-op with two porn starlets at Wednesday’s “Nights in Monaco” gala.

Brooklyn Lee, who was named “Best New Starlet” this year by trade magazine AVN, tweeted a picture of herself with a smiling Clinton as well as adult star Tasha Reign and a third woman.

Clinton is seen clasping Lee, wearing a strapless blue dress [“Target acquired!” – DP], with his left arm, while Reign holds snugly onto the former President’s blazer.

It’s good ta be da former President.

Careful, Bill… Hillary’s watching:


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GOP Senators question upcoming $1 million Hawaiian conference for Ninth Circuit Court

by Doug Powers on Monday, May 21st, 2012

This is article 363 of 526 in the topic Government Spending

Throw in the Angry Office Clown and this thing sounds like a GSA junket with robes.

From The Hill:

Two senior Senate Republicans on Monday blasted plans by judges in the 9th Circuit to hold a conference in Hawaii this August that they said could run up a tab of $1 million or more, and includes a schedule of sport fishing, yoga, surfing lessons and Zumba dancing lessons.

Senate Judiciary Committee ranking member Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) and Budget Committee ranking member Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) last week wrote to 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Chief Judge Alex Kozinski to warn that the Hawaii meeting does not appear to fit with the 9th Circuit’s own opinion that the federal budget is tight. The letter was sent just weeks after Republicans took the General Services Administration (GSA) to task for a notorious $800,000 conference that led several GSA officials to resign.

“We are concerned about the overall cost of this conference and do not believe that discussions about the administration of justice would be less successful were they held somewhere other than a spa and resort in Hawaii,” the senators wrote. The letter adds that while conference organizers note that government funds are not to be used for recreation, the conference program “reads more like a vacation than a business trip to discuss the means of improving the administration of justice.”

Recently the courts have purportedly been focused on cost containment measures. Maybe they’ll discuss saving money during ashwini mudra exercises in yoga class.

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GSA official expected to plead the Fifth at House hearing

by Doug Powers on Sunday, April 15th, 2012

This is article 124 of 246 in the topic Congressional Investigations

Darrell Issa originally tried to trick the official into testifying by telling him that he was being called to Washington to be presented with a GSA Jackass Award, but he didn’t fall for it.

From Politico:

The General Services Administration official tasked with organizing a now-infamous $822,000 Las Vegas conference plans to invoke his Fifth Amendment rights ahead of a scheduled Monday grilling on the Hill.

On Thursday, House Oversight and Government Reform Chairman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) served a subpoena to require Jeff Neely to appear before the committee, according to Democratic committee documents obtained by POLITICO. Neely’s attorney on Friday informed the committee Neely will exercise his right against self-incrimination and requested not to attend the hearing.

“Requiring Mr. Neely to travel from California to appear before the Committee when you have been advised that he will not answer any substantive questions posed to him does not advance any legitimate Committee purpose,” the attorney wrote, according to the documents.

If Neely refuses to testify, Issa should simply subpoena that mind reader the GSA hired for Waste-Fest 2010 to tell the Oversight Committee what he’s thinking.

Questions remain: Who ultimately approved these expenditures? How widespread is the abuse? Will Neely be decked out in all Armani at the hearing? Is the Angry Office Clown going to be subpoenaed? We’ll find out next week.


Acting GSA administrator: Apologies for the wasted money

Who’s to blame?

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Acting GSA administrator: Apologies for the wasted money

by Doug Powers on Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

This is article 356 of 526 in the topic Government Spending

When I heard there was a new GSA video coming out, I was looking forward to seeing more wacky taxpayer-funded shenanigans from Sin City, but it was not to be.

In the universe of things that warrant a detailed explanation to taxpayers, the $800,000-plus bureaucrats gone wild junket in Las Vegas isn’t anywhere near the top of the list, but they started there anyway:

Acting General Services Administration administrator Dan Tangherlini tried to rally his beleaguered agency Tuesday in a video message that acknowledged the agency’s significant missteps and asked employees to focus on the future.

“There were violations in travel rules, acquisition rules and good conduct,” said Tangherlini about reports of an $800,000 Vegas conference that cost the top three GSA administrators their jobs last week. “Just as importantly, those responsible violated rules of common sense, the spirit of public service, and the trust that America’s taxpayers have placed in all of us.”

“I speak for the overwhelming majority of GSA staff when I say we are shocked and deeply disappointed by these indefensible actions,” said Tangherlini. “We’ve take a number of steps to ensure that future misconduct doesn’t occur,” said Tangherlini, announcing that the agency’s “Hats Off” awards program has been shuttered due to more reports of abuse.

It’s a shame Tangherlini didn’t make the Angry Office Clown personally deliver this address. Too much to hope for I guess:

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