Before you join the our elite community, it is suggested you complete the following:
1. Admit that you are powerless and that your life is best managed by strict adherence to progressive ideology.
Congratulations for taking this, your first step towards recovery. You will soon find a new global community of friends that are just like you. Your first step requires you to surrender independent thinking and acknowledge the wisdom of the majority. It is essential you learn to disregard facts in favor of consensus. Consensus to be defined by your sponsor, the Democrat party.
This step opens a vista of new hope and, if completed successfully, will guarantee you instant popularity and numerous social opportunities. Please visit www.move-on.org for the most current definition of progressive ideas. Keep in mind, it is not necessary to actually believe in these ideas but you must learn to give the impression that you do. (For the learning challenged, this means it’s OK to fake it.) Relax, have fun. You’ll be amazed how easy it is to fool most people.
4. Make a fearless and searching inventory of all your Republican and conservative friends.
For help on this step, it is suggested you refer to Algore’s book Earth in The Balance. Inventory should include, but not be limited to, sins against the environment. Other examples include ownership of SUV’s, belief in free markets, holding pro-life views, voting Republican, watching Fox News, and/or supporting the phony ‘war on terror.’
5. Publicly admit the exact nature of all the past wrongs committed by America.
This step is crucial and mandatory. Past wrongs must include America’s shameful legacy of slavery, oppression, patriarchy and unbridled greed (capitalism). To thoroughly master this step, it will be necessary to refer to the teachings of Ward Churchill, Karl Marx, Noam Chomsky and Hillary’s college thesis. Other examples of America’s shameful sins may be accessed @ Edwards2008.com (credit card required)
6. Be entirely ready to renounce America, conservatives and Republicans.
7. Humbly ask the global community for forgiveness for America’s sin of slavery, homophobia, patriarchy, arrogance, egalitarianism and all other sins.(see attached list)
8. Make a list of all conservatives you know and become willing to remove them from your life.